Those whom God has joined together

Genesis 2.18-24 A man and his wife become one body

Hebrews 2.9-11 The one who sanctifies is the brother of those who are sanctified

Mark 10.2-16 What God has united, man must not divide

 

 

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One of the most moving and lovely parts of the wedding service is the moment when the priest takes his stole and wraps it around the joined hands of the bride and bridegroom and says, ‘those whom God has joined together, let no one [separate] put asunder’.

 

They have already made their declarations to ‘love, comfort, honour and protect [each] other, and, forsaking all others, be faithful to [each other] as long as [they] both shall live’.

 

And they have made their vows:

 

to have and to hold

from [that] day forward;

for better, for worse,

for richer, for poorer,

in sickness and in health,

to love and to cherish,

till death us do part;

according to God’s holy law.

 

The action and the words of tying the stole, speak clearly and embody Jesus’ declaration that ‘what God has joined together, let no one separate’.

 

The Church of England Marriage Service draws deeply on the language of marriage that the scriptures are soaked in. This is what it says:

 

Marriage is a gift of God in creation

through which husband and wife may know the grace of God.

It is given

that as man and woman grow together in love and trust,

they shall be united with one another in heart, body and mind,

as Christ is united with his bride, the Church.

 

Marriage is a gift of God in creation. That’s a short way of saying what Jesus said in the Gospel today:

 

… from the beginning of creation, “God made them male and female.” “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.’ (Genesis 2.6-9)

 

And it also reflects the Biblical language of marriage, Covenant and faithfulness that we see from Genesis to Revelation.

 

Genesis describes the givenness and complementarity of male and female. What does that mean?

 

It means that our biological identity is written into us, and that men and women are made to be together, to find love and comfort in one another and the capacity to make new life together, in other words, procreation.

 

It’s important to say, that creativity is focused in, but not restricted to, children.

 

Marriage is a gift of God, the Wedding Service continues, through which husband and wife may know the grace of God.

 

That’s another way of saying marriage is a sacrament – an outward sign of an inner grace – that benefits husband and wife.

 

Genesis is clear. Men and women are to complete not compete with each other; one is not superior and the other inferior. Sadly, of course, human nature being what it is forgets this all too easily and women have often been on the receiving end of that.

 

Two equal but different partners become husband and wife, as a sign pointing to something even bigger than themselves.

 

If marriage is a sign of something bigger than itself, which is what Jesus is saying, then what is it?

 

The Marriage service says that the union of a man and woman in marriage sees them, ‘grow together in love and trust, [and] be united with one another in heart, body and mind’, the point being as Christ is united with his bride, the Church.

 

This is where the readings lead us.

 

They speak of the union of a man and a woman; they speak of its fruitfulness, of children and of love; they speak of faithfulness in the marriage covenant.

 

And in doing so they speak of the union of God and man; they speak of the fruitfulness of the Holy Spirit and of gift of life in all its abundance; they speak of God’s faithfulness in the Covenant.

That’s why marriage is a high calling; Jesus is unambiguous about the demands of it.

 

Human beings don’t all succeed in sustaining the marriage union, just as all of us succumb to unfaithfulness and adultery in our union with God.

 

Other gods – with a small ‘g’ – catch our attention and imagination: read the book of Hosea for a devastating critique of that.

 

We err and stray; spiritually we ‘play away from home’, which we should call what it really is: adulterous betrayal.

 

That break, that divorce, in covenant and communion is deeply painful and sad.

 

Yet God calls us back insistently and continues to invite us to the life of heaven, what he calls ‘The Marriage Banquet of the Lamb of God’, a marriage and banquet that we see in Holy Communion.

 

Whether you are single, married or widowed you are called to union with Christ in his marriage banquet at his altar.

 

We ‘get hitched’ to Jesus at our baptism; we ‘walk up the aisle’ every time we step forward to come to Holy Communion; we ‘tie the knot’ when we receive his body and blood.

 

But our marriage to Jesus it is not ‘till death us do part’, for through his saving death on the cross, our union is consummated in the banquet of heaven.

 

And, please God, may we never - as a Church and individual Christians – never ever divorce ourselves from his love.